What was my MISTAKE ???

Dear MAA n PAA,
                                  Days have passed like life of a Butterfly, few days of beauty, few days of love and brutually the end of life.
                          I remember when I was a kid , how I enjoyed going to gardens with both of you. How PAA threw me up and I fearlessly enjoyed the fly. He always catched me so beautifully, that fear never engrossed in me. Making that last "chappatis" which I preferred giving to only PAA and scold others if they tried eating dem.
                          Those cute little frocks were so fascinating which would force me to go round and round n feel like "Angel". Those small picnics with my friends and playful summer vacations. Anxiety of giving my first board exams and the way all my loved ones took me out from it that i began taking life like a fairy tale.
                          Sooner I got admitted in college, was feeling like free bird enojying every bit of it. Many times  YOU advised me to come early and catch safe transport but "EVERY" time I said "I am a big girl now, I am 18+ and know how to tackel situations as I am capable of taking good care of myself." I went with friends for overnight picnics forcing YOU to plzzzz let me go I can safeguard myself.
                           The DAY came when I was in love, the most beautiful feeling was just started growing more and more as days were passing by, planning for future was already begun. I was under impression life is soooo long , and I keep postponing things that i will do later.I was DREAMING a perfect job, with handful of money and a happy family. But...
                           Who knew destiny had stored something else for me ! who knew that I will open my eyes  and every thought, every plan, every feeling will just "shatter"! Who knew when I claimed, I am old enough to take care of myself, some "devils" were planning to open my eyes wide open forever. One wrong decision and life devastated, as if everything stopped in that moment. They were "SIX" I was "ONE ", I tried my best to safeguard myself but may be the sins of last birth overcome my efforts. They were enjoying and I was suffering from pain. They didn't remembered their sisters or mother's, but I remembered everyone of you. They just wanted to have pleasure for few minutes but I will suffer my entire life. There can be no punishment compared to the pain I have suffered. The dreams shattered, ambitions were literally snatched from my fate.
                          The only punishment should be given to them is, may they have their own daughters who make them realize that, "How have they insulted the CREATOR of life". Today people may stand for me, make various laws against this act, but no one can ever feel the pain  I m going through. MAA-PAA I remember your blank expressions , eyes full of water and helplessness of not being able to look at my condition.
                          Few days have left and I will leave this world forever but the only impression about "MY SO-CALLED" country is , they are proud of women going on MOON, and here still they have opinions that GIRLS should not go out after 9 :00 pm, she should not wear clothes of her choice. Today I am ashamed that I leave in the country were girls are taught what is good and bad , whereas men's are given freedom to live as they want . Till today thousands of such cases are being demolished giving just few bundle of notes.
                         This pain is not bearable MAA, but I want to LIVE....!
                                                                                                                                   Your,
                                                                                                                                  Angel
                   
" U BLOODY F@#KERS, SAVE YOUR A** H*** S, U WON'T BE SPARED LIFE DIS TIME"

6:20 ki LAST local... !

              Some train journeys are interesting, while some are long... some are crowded, while some are lonely.. here are some of my EVERGREEN train JOURNEYS.... n no doubt i hav njoyed every bit of them.
              A gal , who has hardly traveled in trains till 18 years of her life n suddenly have to catch 7:30 am fast train from dombivli ( a station where getting IN train means free body massage ;) ) was not a simple task... though leaving 3 4 trains, shortly trained to get inside it... :)
               Catching 7:50 am local from thane-vashi ( when i was in F.E 4 long years back), was bit annoying to get in at pick hours, specially. But human tendency , adjust yourself ! so did I, adjusted with timing n started njoying train journeys. Usually , harbour Lines  are not much crowded and they are least ! when you travel in first class, was the belief I had, but wid no surprise it was crushed soon mercilessly... :/
               I still remember how I and Pranali use to catch early fast train from dombivli and get down in thane. Going from that overly crowded bridge was one hurdle, due to which many times we missed our trains just by 1 or 2 min. After doing so much of xcerise (not much needed :P) , rat race use to take place in our tummies... ;) so have to carry xtra tiffins widout fail... Completing assignments, solving kumbhojkar , listening to music (specially pranali's headphone), gossiping... were our favourite train tp. We met many ACPCEians in train and became friends initially... Though some wer friends for there own selfish purpose while some wer just xcited to know everyone around... ;) Almost 4 hours of everyday I spend in Mumbai's Life Line (trains)... 
                Having bhel, peppy, schezwan sticks, balaji ( chaat chaska) was the fun I will always cherish. My F.E. group , (Pradnya, Pritam, Prachi, Pranali, Rakshata and I ) without forgeting use to play our very own  DAMSHRAZZ  in train and in no time people beside start playing wid us. I remember one solid incident, Prachi, rakshata, Pranali and  I was playing in train, fully ngrossed! suddenly rakshata remembered that she has to get down in airoli n she began picking her bag ki pranali said, " abhi to koparkhairne aayega" n our rakss started playing again, bt after few minutes 1 aunty (rakshata's neighbour) asked her tht why she is not getting down??? n she nt so interested to hear wht tht poor lady was saying.. ignored her.. Fir kyaa, aaya station, n wid no surprise it was AIROLI... hahhahha !! It was hilarious as everyone started laughing as she almost jumped from d running (just pickd up ;)) train...
                 Time flew faster (thn our trains) n i was in second year when chetana joined us from dombivli. Sooner timings changed for every branch and slowly my F.E group was unable to reunite in trains sooo frequently. Also I was d only one who was in Electrical, so it was hardly possible for me to catch der timings, I used to miss all aur masti  :(... But no worries i shortly formed MY GROUP, firstly it was just train group with bit of awkwardness as we were only TWO ANGELS ;) among around 9 to 10 boys n sometimes many more too... but later on it became obvious for all...
                  Travelling in 2nd class gents was our daily routine while cuming home, but as our friendship started blossoming  we just grab d chance n insisted d boys to take 1st class pass here onwards... n my dear dear  pals listen to us widout doing any JHIGJHIGG.. ;)  though kishor n sada still travel wid 2nd class pass... :/. In F.E. it was always 5:03 pm train n at d most 5:13 pm train from kharghar to sanpada as we had to catch 5:35 thane train from nerul... (as harbour is known to have very less frequency for thane train, then ) !!!
                    In the end of S.E we started skipping 5:37 thane train from nerul n instead it became 5:35 pm from kharghar :D...Whenever any radddaa use to happen someone or the other wud get in 1st class or in 2nd class to avoid rest, though we never allowed anyone that much privacy :P .. HE or she may be, had to be in same compartment where majority will be. We played our favourite slapping game (though many hate tht game, i njjoyed it thoroughly) to pulling everyones leg, not allowing anyone to sleep no matter how tiered he or she is. :P.... That (confusing) discussions during xams to fighting for silly reasons ... where eating one bite of your own cuttlet was a struggle and having only one tomato slice left from the whole veg cheese grilled sandwich was luck. That aatrangiii flavours of soda and grabbing window seats was justt pagalpanti... (just missing every sec of that togetherness).
                    The LAST year of our engineering n we have sincerely tried our best to catch 5:48 train from nerul ;) bt now as we wer soon to be enggs.. ( lazy creatures )we started catching 6:20 nerul-thane train... (we really did tried bt wer dissapointed every time to catch d earlier train.. ;)) n so our almost whole B.E dis was our patent train (yes thats what we named it :D)... One most memorable incident in dis train is, it was our last working day in college, already bit emotional of final wrap up wid engg n 4 beautiful years, capturing as many moments as we can in our DG's , we came in nerul, it was 6:10 pm n our patent train was standing on the platform. Suddenly everyone thought of taking pic of indicator showing 6:20 T (thane). This train holds a special place in my heart as i remember all small small things , of how we clicked so many nautanki pics wid tht indicator, around d train, inside d train, laughed on our stupid silly poses and that drop of tear which gaurav had silently roughed.
                    People complain about the rush in trains, bt we cracked jokes on them; where seating on 4th seat was uncomfortable, 5 of us use to seat much comfortably ;) some get annoyd wid the kids who beg in trains while we played wid dem too. Today , the train is same and even clock is showing the same time but MY BESSSTT BUDDIES are not accompaying me in dis journey .... I will misssss you all... <3

     
               

Art Of Living Only For..... ?

                 In today's world if YOU have not done Art Of Living course then you are really missing something very calm , compose and beautiful self experience. 
                 Few months back, I done Art Of Living's very famous course YES+ . Being a 22 year old Engg playing OM game, Dongrala aag lagli pala pala pala was just amazing , joyful and refreshment of childhood memories. The experience  of making  fruit salad on one day  and learning theories of life on other was remarkable. Though some things discussed der were familiar while some were not. When it is bombarded on your ears that certain thing is right, no matter what, we ignore its other side. Attending Satsangs, doing Sudharshan kriya is something out of dis world. The 'energy'  of which this whole universe is made of ! was beautifully explained by our YES+ DEE.
                  Now around two months have passed and after attending so many satsangs, daily n weekly kriyas , today suddenly one thought striked in my mind and which raised many unanswered questions.. So i thought of sharing it wid u all with the faith of finding satisfying solution. I was just lying down and randomly all my yes+ 5 supercool days flash backed, reminding all fun , masti, friends, meditations, reasons behind many things, etc... which was served to us in so simple language just lyk a decorative plate which was easy to see n indeed challenging to make..!
                   Everyday, atleast once the thing was said that, "we have to unite as many people as we can " merely exploring our experiences and make them feel n njoy...by th one who are lovingly connected with dis association. But when 'unity' comes it should consists everyone. may it be a poor or even a millionaire. I dont say it should be free ,no not at all... as it wont be valued.. but atleast it shud be affordable so that maximum people can join... No doubt millions of people are connected wid Art Of Living then why not have some relaxation to one who cannot afford such huge amount. Its just group of sophisticated people coming together or the very lower group.. but what about the middle category people.  For "ANY" course one has to think twice bcoz of large share of money. Instead of investing money from courses we can use d sum we get from donors, or from who can willingly pay. As keeping minimum funds will connect mass population n that will definitely help in making world a peaceful place in much less period of time.
                 I just feel the way i was able to do the course, there are many people who really require such courses, support but are unable to fetch just bcoz some amount of money. Whenever we do one course we feel like knowing more about life and we just join another advance course. Bt it's unfortunate that this beautiful experience which we are experiencing, dey are nt even aware of it. I wud really like to take some solution out of this as its not the one which works for the money or quality of people, instead it is of the people by the people and for the people. 
                  I hope , my motive behind writing this blog wouldnt be taken in any wrong sense! It was just an sincere attempt, that  what if this divinity is served to as many  possible beyond there worry of funds!   

               

INSPIRATION... ?? ...!

                    We always search an inspirational person, line or scene, and very proudly tend to advice people whenever they are sad, facing failures etc. Being a kid many people use to ask me "WHO INSPIRES YOU? " the ans which i heard most of the times was, MOTHER... ( teacher che prasing milayche na... ;))

                      There was an image which I had set in my mind of an Inspiration type word...! Days gone and  I entered in bachelor course. Being an average student , coming 1st in school or even class wass never an issue (though many time i prayed , atleast once i want that 1st rank... : /) but atleast to pass in every xam wid some gud score was xpected.

                      As every ENGINEER , (specially after 12th ) can explain the pain and anxiety of 1st year, i.e. our very own F.E. of engg. That decembers and mays, our playfull summer vacations which suddenly turned as thrilling as climbing PEBGAD in rainy season... That beautiful winters which i enjoyed sleeping with two three solapur chaddars.. turned out to b sleepless nights.. Then season of results , with full of anxiety, numbness , breath taking dayss..

                    I remember my 1st MU results, due to some problem in harbour railway line, trains were not running n we had to catch train via kurla to reach college.I and pranali (one of my close friend), boarded train from thane to kharghar via kurla. Also our results were announced 1 day before on net and we both were not passed...! Already we were tensed , depressed, sad n then dis train problems, but headed towards college with the hope of only one or max 2 KTs. I was totally lost tht what has happend to me?? was feeling like jumping frm the train .. The word "Fail " was hammering continuously in my head. Didnt wanted to face teachers , friends, parents  just no one.. that guilt was sinking inside me..Around 11 am we reached in college and we directly ran to the 1st floor (Our Examination center) .. I just ran towards the display board n i put finger beside my seat number n i saw 1st F... but suprisingly for next subject it was P ... i was relief.. the feeling of relaxation was just started to enter ki  I saw another F.... n after tht it followed with F F F.... ooohhh @#$% i  have 5 kts...

Some of my group mates were on ground floor..seeing both of us, in no time they were wid us. God knows what happend... but the yell of my cry was something that my friends have not forgotten. My group mates were in a situation were they didnt knw how will they console me... Pranali and pritam too had kts but forgetting all, they were beside me. I was totally lost, didnt know what will happen next n what i m suppose to do next... Hidding my face I headed back to home n ofcourse pritam and pranali were with me... One of our friend Prashant came with us upto kharghar station and who supported 3 of us... really thankful to u buddy :)). I called up medini (one of my best school buddy ) and informed her abt my results , undoubtedly she was shocked too. I was crying continuously and didnt even allowed her to utter a single word....! Some how I reached home and asa mom hugged me my eyes started flooding again. I was crying n saying continuously tht engg is nt cup of my tea, you just take me out of this. I even said that i will do BSC , BED, BA and what not... She consoled me n said that failing is not a big deal and every profession is as hard and challenging. She tried her best to convince me that i can face this problem and i should not run away from dis n will cum out of this with flying colours.

           Everyone from my family were very supportive and they all tried there best to take me out from dis mishap... I started accepting the fact, though in college some gave me sympathy where as some encouraged..     

To Start studying was the only option left with me as i had to give 11 subjects and time left with me was hardly 2 months.. and no doubt  friends were der to make me forget all dis for sometime atleast. I started bunking outings, hangouts, and many more... sometimes willingly n sometimes unwillingly. Many suggested i should drop some subjects n try to clear minimum subjects so that i wnt hav drop. But some eternal feeling was, tht i have to clear all dis n give my 100%. Inspite of all dis 2nd sem was one of my d best sem where i made friends for life time and njoyed a lotttt.  

              Days passed MU timetable came and again that breath taking time... all kt papers were just oneday after sem 2 papers.... initially i was panic bt ussey kuch upyog to hone waala tha nahi.. n this was nt nough ki my eldest sister marriage was fixed... though d wedding day was after my finals but  I missed all her shaddi shoppings , in-laws meets... n in that i had to travell 2 hours from one side daily to reach college... in short meri full on waat lagg gayii..

             Exam started in no time, and almost after every paper i cried after cuming home as they were no wonder horrifying and increasing my stress. My father everytime use to ask me how many papers were left n hearing my ans he may be mentally prepared himself that he has to support me in my next results too :( . After around 1 n half months my xams finished. In few days 2nd year started, as results were not out yet we had to sit now in our very department classrooms... The feeling was gr8 to be in second year though it was temporary as of results were yet to come... whenever any teacher introduce her subject n tell about it ... i used to feel ki hopefully i will b der through out to learn it.. 

             Suddenly one day in the evening sem 2 results were annonced... i was praying please not this time... bt GOD didnt wanted me to be free so soon... It didnt showed "pass" n neither "fail"... so the excitment was stretched to such an xtent ki basss... next day some said i might have cleared my kt papers too so its showing lyk tht... somewhere inside i wass very happy but what if its not true... after 2-3 days , sem 2 results were displayed.. n yesss i have cleared every sem 2 subjects... daammmm haappy... then very soon sem 1 kt results were out... and wid a gr8 surprise it was written "congratulations... u hav passed wid DISTINCTION"... i refreshed thrice still it was same... i was stunned... as it was next to impossible.. bt suddenly my phone rang n ashwin told , that site is fake ... Testing of patience was height by now... bt in the same evening "real" site was opend... n dis tym tooo it was an breath taking xperience.... @#$% i have cleared sem 1 toooo.... yipeeeee ... one of my BEST moment...!!!

                   Wow... thats an great feeling... my parents, friends, everyone was so surprised, amazed, were showering blessings, appreciation , they were very proudly telling der batchmates about my result... I even remember rakshata , she has not even left her neighbours.... In no time people started recognising me and honestly i was njoying that.. Bt dont knw why, bt der was no feeling of proudness... as failing first in 5 subjects out of 6 was not what i expected from me.. 

             Days passed, and sems after sems passed though everytime it was 1st class... tht achievment wala feeling was somewhere missing.. wid no wonders i was in BE.. results were about to come n again that feeling of anxitey.. n yes it showed BE Revised Electrical Engg ... passed wid First Class... again murder of xcitement... n again d feeling of not hav done nough even in last sem...

              But wait... this is not an end... picture abhi baaki hai mere dost.. sem 8 results were displayed ... n here i go..... DISTINCTION wid 73.42%.... This was the moment when i saw that proud face of my mom, pa, mai n granny... that happyy scream on phone of my eldest sister.. was just toooooo much than becoming an engineer. This was the very moment that YES now i have done it...!

         The whole journey of life should be inspired by some or the other role models, but one should never forget INSPIRATION which you get from yourself is everlasting, trust worthy and much  more satisfying... !!